E\u015fler \u00e7o\u011fu kez, birbirlerini ya anlamaz, ya anlamak istemez, ya da yanl\u0131\u015f anlar.<\/p>\n
Kimi zaman da birbirlerini su\u00e7layarak tart\u0131\u015f\u0131rlar. Birisi, \u0093e\u015fim beni ciddiye alm\u0131yor\u0094 der. Di\u011feri ise kimi zaman bunun fark\u0131na bile varmaz.<\/p>\n
Bazen e\u015flerden birisi \u00e7ok al\u0131ngan olur. Her s\u00f6zden bir mana \u00e7\u0131kararak e\u015fini su\u00e7lar. \u00d6zellikle kendine g\u00fcven duygusu olmayan e\u015fler, normal konu\u015fmalardan bile anlam \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131rlar.<\/p>\n
Han\u0131m \u0093ay bu domatesler \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fck\u0094 dese e\u015fi, \u0093Ben ald\u0131m ya k\u00f6t\u00fc olur. Zaten sen benim ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m hi\u00e7bir \u015feyi be\u011fenmezsin!\u0094 cevab\u0131n\u0131 verir.<\/p>\n
Veya \u0093Bu yemek tuzsuz olmu\u015f\u0094 diyen beye, han\u0131m, \u0093Sen de benim yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m hi\u00e7bir \u015feyi be\u011fenmezsin. Ben hi\u00e7bir \u015feyi ba\u015faramam\u0094 s\u00f6zleriyle i\u015fi tart\u0131\u015fmaya kadar g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcr.<\/p>\n
Genelde tart\u0131\u015fmalar basit \u015feylerden \u00e7\u0131kar. Tart\u0131\u015fma bitti\u011finde ise e\u015fler ni\u00e7in tart\u0131\u015ft\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 bile unuturlar.<\/p>\n
E\u015fler birbirlerinin hatalar\u0131na g\u00f6zlerini yumup, kulaklar\u0131n\u0131 t\u0131kamal\u0131.. Ama birbirini anlamak i\u00e7in g\u00f6zlerini d\u00f6rt a\u00e7\u0131p, kulaklar\u0131n\u0131 kabartmal\u0131d\u0131rlar.<\/p>\n
\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc bu t\u00fcr problemlerin \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc \u0091sen beni anlam\u0131yor, anlamak istemiyorsun\u0094 \u015feklindeki su\u00e7lamalardan de\u011fil, diyalogdan ge\u00e7er. Aralar\u0131nda iyi bir diyalog kurup konu\u015fmay\u0131 ba\u015faramayan e\u015fler, davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 k\u00f6t\u00fcye yormaya ba\u015flar, sonra da bunu k\u00f6t\u00fc davran\u0131\u015f takip eder. Bu yoldan gitmeye devam ettikleri takdirde varacaklar\u0131 yer elbette anla\u015fmazl\u0131k dura\u011f\u0131 olur.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Olumsuzluklara son vermek i\u00e7in:<\/b><\/p>\n
* E\u015fler, aralar\u0131nda kopmu\u015f olan, ya da yeterince olmayan diyalo\u011fu geli\u015ftirmelidir.<\/p>\n
* E\u015fler, birbirlerinin s\u00f6z ve davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131 arkas\u0131ndaki sebebi ara\u015ft\u0131rmadan hemen kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k vermeye kalk\u0131\u015fmamal\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n
* S\u00f6zleri iyi tahlil etmeli, yanl\u0131\u015f anlay\u0131p birbirlerini h\u0131rpalad\u0131ktan sonra \u00f6z\u00fcr dilemek zorunda kalmamal\u0131.<\/p>\n
* Kar\u015f\u0131 taraf\u0131 su\u00e7lamak, ya da bir su\u00e7lu icat etmek yerine -\u015fayet varsa- su\u00e7u ortadan kald\u0131rman\u0131n yollar\u0131 aranmamal\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n
* Fazla al\u0131ngan olmamal\u0131. Her s\u00f6zden, her davran\u0131\u015ftan k\u00f6t\u00fc bir mana \u00e7\u0131karmamal\u0131d\u0131r. Bazen e\u015flerden birinin kazara sarf etti\u011fi bir s\u00f6z, silah olarak kullan\u0131l\u0131p di\u011fer e\u015f yayl\u0131m ate\u015fine tutulmamal\u0131d\u0131r. Bilhassa \u0093filan zaman sen \u015f\u00f6yle demi\u015ftin\u0094 diyerek cerbeze yoluna gidilmemelidir.<\/p>\n
* Hi\u00e7bir e\u015f buz \u00fcst\u00fcnde d\u00fc\u015fme korkusuyla y\u00fcr\u00fcyen, ya da tepesinde kristal bardaklar ta\u015f\u0131yan gibi olmak istemez.<\/p>\n
\u00d6zetle, e\u015finizin s\u00f6z ve davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 yarg\u0131lamakta acele etmeyin ki, Rabb\u0092imizin \u0093Halim\u0094 ismi \u00fczerinizde tecelli etsin.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
E\u015fler \u00e7o\u011fu kez, birbirlerini ya anlamaz, ya anlamak istemez, ya da yanl\u0131\u015f anlar. Kimi zaman da birbirlerini su\u00e7layarak tart\u0131\u015f\u0131rlar. Birisi,...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1202,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[51,23,52],"class_list":["post-1201","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aile-danismanligi","tag-anlayisli-bir-es-misiniz","tag-evlilik-danismani","tag-evlilik-terapisi"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1201","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1201"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1201\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1201"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1201"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1201"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}