Hassas konulardan biri \u201chayali, haramdan koruma tedbiri\u201ddir. \u0130slam aile k\u00fclt\u00fcr\u00fcnde olduk\u00e7a \u00f6nemli bir yer i\u015fgal etti\u011finden dolay\u0131d\u0131r ki, han\u0131m\u0131n nikahl\u0131s\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131 s\u00fcslenmesi sevapt\u0131r, denmektedir ilmihallerde..<\/p>\n
Neden sevapt\u0131r?.. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc kendini bak\u0131ml\u0131 tutarak beyine kar\u015f\u0131 cazibesini koruyan han\u0131m, beyinin hayalini harama kaymaktan koruyan han\u0131m demektir. \u0130slam k\u00fclt\u00fcr\u00fcnde hayali haramlardan koruma ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131, harama kaymay\u0131 \u00f6nleme ibadeti say\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, hay\u0131rl\u0131 han\u0131m ve hay\u0131rl\u0131 bey tarifi de bu ba\u015far\u0131ya g\u00f6re yap\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Nitekim Peygamber terbiyesiyle b\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f olan Hazret-i Fat\u0131ma validemiz, \u201cHay\u0131rl\u0131 han\u0131m nas\u0131l olur?\u201d sorusuna verdi\u011fi cevab\u0131nda:<\/p>\n
– Hay\u0131rl\u0131 han\u0131m, hayaliyle de olsa haramlarda gezmeyen, beyini de haramlarda gezdirmeyen han\u0131md\u0131r! demi\u015ftir. Demek kendisi hayalen de olsa haramlarda gezmedi\u011fi gibi, beyini de gezdirmeyen han\u0131m hay\u0131rl\u0131 han\u0131m!<\/p>\n
Ayn\u0131 soruyu Hazret-i Ali efendimize de sormu\u015flar:<\/p>\n
-Hay\u0131rl\u0131 bey nas\u0131l olur? demi\u015fler. Ayn\u0131 kaynaktan terbiyesini alm\u0131\u015f olan o y\u00fcce insan da kendi nefsine ait kontrol\u00fcn\u00fc \u015f\u00f6yle ifade etmi\u015ftir:<\/p>\n
-Hay\u0131rl\u0131 Bey hayaliyle de olsa haramlarda gezmeyen, han\u0131m\u0131n\u0131 da gezdirmeyen beydir!..<\/p>\n
\u0130slam aile k\u00fclt\u00fcr\u00fcnde hayallerle de olsa haramlarda gezmeme! ve de gezdirmeme! anlay\u0131\u015f\u0131, iki taraf i\u00e7in de \u00e7ok \u00f6nemlidir. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc her t\u00fcrl\u00fc haramlar \u00f6nce hayallerle ba\u015flar. \u00d6yle ise sonunda harama d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fecek olan hayale ba\u015ftan hakim olmal\u0131, harama d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fmesine f\u0131rsat vermeyecek tedbiri taraflar \u00f6nceden almal\u0131lar… Bu ne ile m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olur?<\/p>\n
Han\u0131mla beyin kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 cazibeli davran\u0131\u015f ve g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fclerine dikkat etmeleriyle m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olur!..<\/p>\n
Beyine kar\u015f\u0131 bak\u0131ml\u0131 ve \u00e7ekici tutumuyla etkisini hissettiren bir han\u0131m, beyinin hayalini haramlara itme de\u011fil, haramlardan \u00e7ekme ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131 g\u00f6stermi\u015f olur… Kendisi hayalleriyle haramlarda gezmedi\u011fi gibi, beyini de gezdirmeme ibadetinin sahibi say\u0131l\u0131r! Hatta bu konuda daha da derinle\u015ferek denebilir ki, haramlar\u0131n her taraf\u0131 i\u015fgal etti\u011fi devrede bey de, han\u0131m da kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 \u00e7ekiciliklerini geli\u015ftirmeye ciddi \u015fekilde \u00f6nem vermeli, tepki do\u011furacak itici davran\u0131\u015f ve g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fclerden de ka\u00e7\u0131nmaya \u00f6zel bir gayret g\u00f6stermeliler… Daha derin bir ifadeyle taraflar, kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 tatmin olma ve tatmin etmeyi dini birer m\u00fckellefiyet ve mecburiyetleri olarak da g\u00f6rmeliler!.. \u015eunu da unutmamal\u0131lar ki, tepkisel davran\u0131\u015flarla aileyi koruyaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 zanneden taraf, kendi kalesine gol atan futbolcuya \u00e7ok benzer. Kazanma ad\u0131na kaybetme durumu s\u00f6z konusu olabilir. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc bir g\u00f6n\u00fclde sevgi taht\u0131 kurmak tepkiyle de\u011fil etkiyle olur. \u0130ticilikle de\u011fil \u00e7ekicilikle m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olur!..<\/p>\n
\u00d6yle ise \u00f6zellikle d\u0131\u015f g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyle \u00e7ekicili\u011fini koruyan han\u0131mefendi, sab\u0131rl\u0131, ho\u015fg\u00f6r\u00fcl\u00fc ve sadakatli tutumuyla da etkisini geni\u015fletip hakimiyetini her koldan geli\u015ftirmesini bilmelidir. Tek kelimeyle aile i\u00e7inde taraflar, m\u0131knat\u0131s olmal\u0131, birbirlerini itme de\u011fil \u00e7ekme \u00f6zelli\u011fine \u00f6zen g\u00f6stermeliler.<\/p>\n
Ahmed \u015eahin<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hassas konulardan biri \u201chayali, haramdan koruma tedbiri\u201ddir. \u0130slam aile k\u00fclt\u00fcr\u00fcnde olduk\u00e7a \u00f6nemli bir yer i\u015fgal etti\u011finden dolay\u0131d\u0131r ki, han\u0131m\u0131n nikahl\u0131s\u0131na...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1212,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[27,53],"class_list":["post-1211","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aile-danismanligi","tag-aile-danismanligi","tag-esler-iletisim"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1211","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1211"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1211\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1211"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1211"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1211"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}