ABD\u2019deki Clark \u00dcniversitesi\u2019nde y\u00fcr\u00fct\u00fclen ve 18 \u2013 29 ya\u015f aras\u0131 erken yeti\u015fkinlik d\u00f6nemindeki 1000 ki\u015fiyle yap\u0131lan \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma kat\u0131l\u0131mc\u0131lar\u0131n y\u00fczde 86\u2019s\u0131 evliliklerinin \u00f6m\u00fcr boyu s\u00fcrmesini bekledi\u011fini ortaya koydu. Fakat istatistikler, bu iyimser gen\u00e7lerin tam tersini s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor.<\/p>\n
Uzmanlara g\u00f6re, g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczde yap\u0131lan evliliklerin y\u00fczde 40 ila y\u00fczde 50\u2019si bo\u015fanma ile sonu\u00e7lan\u0131yor. Peki, evlili\u011fi sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 bir \u015fekilde devam ettirmek i\u00e7in hangi noktalara dikkat etmek gerekiyor?<\/p>\n
Yaz\u0131 tura misali<\/strong><\/p>\n ABD Sa\u011fl\u0131k \u0130statistikleri Ulusal Merkezi (NCHS) verileri, g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczde bir \u00e7iftin 20. evlilik y\u0131ld\u00f6n\u00fcmlerini kutlama olas\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n, bozuk paran\u0131n yaz\u0131 veya tura gelme olas\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan daha y\u00fcksek olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6steriyor.<\/p>\n Buna g\u00f6re, kad\u0131nlar\u0131n y\u00fczde 52\u2019si, erkeklerin ise y\u00fczde 56\u2019s\u0131 20. evlilik y\u0131ld\u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fcn\u00fc kutlayabiliyor. Uzmanlara g\u00f6re, g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczde yap\u0131lan evliliklerin y\u00fczde 40 ila y\u00fczde 50\u2019si bo\u015fanma ile sonu\u00e7lan\u0131yor.<\/p>\n Ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 evlili\u011fin temelinde \u2018sadelik\u2019 yat\u0131yor. Uzun y\u0131llard\u0131r evlili\u011fin s\u00fcreklili\u011fini sa\u011flayan unsurlar tart\u0131\u015f\u0131l\u0131yor. \u00c7\u00f6z\u00fcm ise sade ve basit davran\u0131\u015flardan ge\u00e7iyor. Michigan ve Oakland \u00dcniversiteleri\u2019nde ders veren Terri Orbuch, 264 evli \u00e7ift ile Evlili\u011fin \u0130lk Y\u0131llar\u0131 Projesi ad\u0131 alt\u0131nda bir ara\u015ft\u0131rma y\u00fcr\u00fctt\u00fc. Bu ara\u015ft\u0131rman\u0131n sonu\u00e7lar\u0131na g\u00f6re, mutlu \u00e7iftlerin d\u00f6rtte \u00fc\u00e7\u00fc, e\u015flerini \u2018Benimle ilgilenir, beni sever, bana kendimi \u00f6nemli hissettirir\u2019 \u015feklinde tan\u0131ml\u0131yor. Mutsuz hisseden \u00e7iftlerin ise yar\u0131s\u0131ndan daha az\u0131 bu hissi ya\u015f\u0131yor.<\/p>\n Erkekler daha fazla ihtiya\u00e7 duyuyor<\/strong><\/p>\n Kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdaki ki\u015fiyi \u00f6nemsedi\u011fimizi, sevdi\u011fimizi ve onun \u00f6nemli oldu\u011funu hissettirmek i\u00e7in yap\u0131lmas\u0131 gerekenlerin olabildi\u011fince yal\u0131n hareketlerden ibaret olmaktad\u0131r. G\u00fczel kelimeler, yorucu bir g\u00fcn\u00fcn ard\u0131ndan dinlenmek ve keyifli ge\u00e7irilen birka\u00e7 saat\u2026 Bunlar, \u00e7iftlerin mutlu bir ili\u015fki s\u00fcrmesini sa\u011flayan ve bo\u015fanmay\u0131 \u00f6nleyen \u00f6nemli anlar olarak g\u00f6r\u00fcl\u00fcyor. Orbuch\u2019un analizlerine g\u00f6re, erkekler bu olumlu ifadelere kad\u0131nlardan daha fazla ihtiya\u00e7 duyuyor. E\u015fleri taraf\u0131ndan olumlu kar\u015f\u0131lanmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnen erkeklerin bo\u015fanma oran\u0131n\u0131n, di\u011ferlerine k\u0131yasla iki kat daha y\u00fcksek olmas\u0131 da bu analizi do\u011fruluyor.<\/p>\n Konulara \u00f6fkeyle yakla\u015fman\u0131n faturas\u0131<\/strong><\/p>\n Yak\u0131n zamanda, UCLA \u00dcniversitesi\u2019nden Justin Lavner\u2019\u0131n bir \u00e7iftin kavga etme \u015feklinin evlili\u011fi nas\u0131l etkiledi\u011fini inceledi. Lavner, 10 y\u0131l boyunca 136 \u00e7ift ile y\u00fcr\u00fctt\u00fc\u011f\u00fc \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmada, 10 y\u0131l\u0131n sonunda bo\u015fanan veya birlikteli\u011fini s\u00fcrd\u00fcren \u00e7iftler aras\u0131ndaki en temel fark\u0131n, bu \u00e7iftlerin evliliklerinin ilk y\u0131l\u0131 boyunca ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131 sorunlar\u0131 ele al\u0131\u015f \u015fekilleri oldu\u011funu g\u00f6rd\u00fc. Lavner ara\u015ft\u0131rma sonunda, evliliklerinin ilk y\u0131l\u0131nda zor konulara \u00f6fke ve karamsarl\u0131kla yakla\u015fan \u00e7iftlerin, 10 y\u0131l sonra bo\u015fanma olas\u0131l\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131n daha y\u00fcksek oldu\u011funu ortaya koydu. Buna g\u00f6re \u00e7iftlerin ileti\u015fim \u015fekillerinin bir ili\u015fkiyi; ait hissetme, ki\u015filik \u00f6zellikleri ve stresten daha \u00e7ok y\u0131pratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 ortaya \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131.<\/p>\n \u00dcslup \u00e7ok \u00f6nemli<\/strong><\/p>\n Evlilikte ba\u015far\u0131n\u0131n ileti\u015fimden ge\u00e7ti\u011fini ancak \u00fcslubun \u00e7ok \u00f6nemli oldu\u011funu farkl\u0131 ara\u015ft\u0131rmalardan \u00f6rnekleri mevcuttur. Gottman Enstit\u00fcs\u00fc ve Washington \u00dcniversitesi (Love Lab) A\u015fk Laboratuvar\u0131 kurucusu Gottman\u2019a g\u00f6re evliliklerde ya\u015fanan sorunlar\u0131n y\u00fczde 69\u2019u asla \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcmlenemiyor. Ancak ara\u015ft\u0131rma sonu\u00e7lar\u0131, as\u0131l \u00f6nemli olan hususun sorunlar\u0131n \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fclmesinden ziyade, partnerler taraf\u0131ndan o sorunlar\u0131n nas\u0131l ele al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6nemli oldu\u011funu g\u00f6steriyor.<\/p>\n Davran\u0131\u015f problemleri art\u0131yor<\/strong><\/p>\n Bo\u015fanmalar\u0131n y\u00fczde 40\u2019\u0131n\u0131n evlili\u011fin ilk be\u015f y\u0131l\u0131nda g\u00f6r\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fc T\u00fcrkiye\u2019de, bu durumdan en \u00e7ok etkilenen \u00e7ocuklar oluyor. Bu ailelerin \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 daha \u00e7ok davran\u0131\u015f sorunlar\u0131 g\u00f6steriyor<\/p>\n Bo\u015fanm\u0131\u015f ailelerin \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n di\u011ferlerinden daha fazla davran\u0131\u015f problemi g\u00f6stermektedir.<\/p>\n Yaln\u0131zl\u0131k ve su\u00e7luluk duyuyorlar<\/strong><\/p>\n Bu ara\u015ft\u0131rmada, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n i\u00e7e y\u00f6neltilmi\u015f ve d\u0131\u015fa y\u00f6neltilmi\u015f davran\u0131\u015f problemleri bo\u015fanma a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131ndan incelenmi\u015f ve anne babalar i\u00e7in \u00f6nemli bulgular ortaya \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. \u00c7al\u0131\u015fmada, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n bo\u015fanmaya nas\u0131l uyum sa\u011flad\u0131klar\u0131 ara\u015ft\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. \u0130\u00e7e y\u00f6neltilmi\u015f davran\u0131\u015f problemleri dedi\u011fimizde \u00e7ekingenlik, yaln\u0131zl\u0131k, su\u00e7luluk, gerginlik, \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fc gibi duygular, dikkat odaklamakta g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fck, sevilmedi\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnme, yeme ve uyku \u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fclerinde de\u011fi\u015fimler anla\u015f\u0131l\u0131rken d\u0131\u015fa y\u00f6neltilmi\u015f davran\u0131\u015f problemleri sald\u0131rganl\u0131k, zarar verme, evden ka\u00e7ma, i\u00e7ki i\u00e7me gibi davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131 ifade etmektedir. Ara\u015ft\u0131rmada, bo\u015fanm\u0131\u015f ailelerin \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n, bo\u015fanmam\u0131\u015f ailelerin \u00e7ocuklar\u0131ndan daha fazla davran\u0131\u015f problemi g\u00f6sterdi\u011fi bulunmu\u015ftur. Bu problemler hemen bo\u015fanmadan sonra, erken veya orta ergenlik d\u00f6neminde g\u00f6r\u00fclmektedir. Ara\u015ft\u0131rman\u0131n di\u011fer \u00f6nemli bir sonucuna g\u00f6re de bo\u015fanmadan \u00f6nce d\u00fc\u015f\u00fck gelire sahip ailelerin \u00e7ocuklar\u0131, bo\u015fanmadan sonra daha fazla d\u0131\u015fa y\u00f6neltilmi\u015f davran\u0131\u015f problemleri g\u00f6stermektedir.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" ABD\u2019deki Clark \u00dcniversitesi\u2019nde y\u00fcr\u00fct\u00fclen ve 18 \u2013 29 ya\u015f aras\u0131 erken yeti\u015fkinlik d\u00f6nemindeki 1000 ki\u015fiyle yap\u0131lan \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma kat\u0131l\u0131mc\u0131lar\u0131n y\u00fczde 86\u2019s\u0131...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1398,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[2,23,8,69],"class_list":["post-1397","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aile-danismanligi","tag-aile-danismani","tag-evlilik-danismani","tag-sehitkamil-aile-danismanim","tag-uzun-omurlu-evliliklerin-sirlari"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1397","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1397"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1397\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1397"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1397"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1397"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}