{"id":2489,"date":"2016-08-11T22:14:20","date_gmt":"2016-08-11T19:14:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.okanbal.com\/?p=2489"},"modified":"2016-08-11T22:14:20","modified_gmt":"2016-08-11T19:14:20","slug":"evliliginizde-mutlu-olmak-mi-istiyorsunuz","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/2489\/evliliginizde-mutlu-olmak-mi-istiyorsunuz\/","title":{"rendered":"Evlili\u011finizde Mutlu Olmak m\u0131 \u0130stiyorsunuz?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Evlilikler canl\u0131 bir organizma gibidir. Beslenmek, bak\u0131lmak ister. E\u015finize bask\u0131 yapmadan, evde h\u00fck\u00fcmranl\u0131k kurmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmadan ortak yollar bulunabilir. Evlilik ona de\u011fer vermek, sayg\u0131 g\u00f6stermek, \u2018ben\u2019 yolundan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p \u2018biz\u2019 olmay\u0131 ba\u015farmak demektir. Aile ili\u015fkilerinde g\u00f6n\u00fcl aynas\u0131n\u0131 k\u0131rmay\u0131n.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cAcaba e\u015fime nas\u0131l davran\u0131rsam onu mutlu ederim?\u201d sorusunun cevab\u0131n\u0131 m\u0131 ar\u0131yorsunuz? \u0130\u015fte size yard\u0131mc\u0131 olacak cevaplar:<\/p>\n

E\u015finize de\u011fer verin<\/strong>. Hayat\u0131n\u0131zdaki ilk s\u0131ray\u0131 e\u015finize verin ve bunu, ona hissettirin. B\u00f6yle yaparsan\u0131z e\u015finiz kendini de\u011ferli g\u00f6r\u00fcr. De\u011ferli oldu\u011funu anlayan e\u015f, e\u015finin hatalar\u0131na de\u011fer vermez. De\u011fersiz oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnen e\u015fse, e\u015finin hatalar\u0131na de\u011fer verir. Bu da aile i\u00e7indeki huzursuzlu\u011fa netice verir.
\n\u201cBen\u201d yolundan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p \u201cbiz\u201d yoluna girin. Evlilik mutlulu\u011funu baltalayan, mutluluk gemisini yalpalayan \u015fey bencilliktir. Kendi do\u011frular\u0131n\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131 tarafa kabul ettirmek i\u00e7in evlili\u011fi sava\u015f alan\u0131na d\u00f6nd\u00fcrmektir. Evlilik \u2018ben\u2019 yolundan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p \u2018biz\u2019 yoluna girmektir. Ancak o zaman g\u00fczeldir. \u2018Ben yine yolumdan giderim\u2019 denilirse o evlilikte mutluluk yakalanmaz.<\/p>\n

Kendinizi komutan yerine koymay\u0131n.<\/strong> E\u015finizi, komutlar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 \u201cemredersiniz komutan\u0131m\u201d diye yerine getirecek bir er gibi g\u00f6rmeyin. Siz \u00fcs, e\u015finiz as de\u011fil, yol arkada\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131z.<\/p>\n

E\u015finizin duygular\u0131na kilit vurmay\u0131n<\/strong>. E\u015finizin duygular\u0131n\u0131 ve hatta k\u0131zg\u0131nl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 rahat\u00e7a ifade etmesine izin verin. \u201cAcaba bunu s\u00f6ylersem e\u015fim ne der? Kavga \u00e7\u0131kar m\u0131? \u0130yisi mi ben i\u00e7ime atay\u0131m.\u201d dedirtmeyin. Unutmay\u0131n, d\u00fcd\u00fckl\u00fc tencerenin havas\u0131 al\u0131nmazsa patlar. Fay hatt\u0131 yava\u015f yava\u015f k\u0131r\u0131lmazsa yer kabu\u011fu depremle \u00e7atlar.<\/p>\n

E\u015finizin hatalar\u0131na g\u00f6z yumun.<\/strong> Kurulmu\u015f robot gibi sizin her istek ve arzunuza boyun e\u011fmesini istemeyin. Robotlar da bozulabilir, bilgisayarlar da vir\u00fcs kapabilir.<\/p>\n

S\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcz\u00fc dinletmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmay\u0131n.<\/strong> \u201cBu evde ben ne dersem o olmal\u0131. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ben yanl\u0131\u015f yapmam.\u201d d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesiyle, \u201c\u015funu \u015f\u00f6yle yap, bunu b\u00f6yle yap, s\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc dinle\u201d demeyin. Onun kararlar\u0131na sayg\u0131 g\u00f6sterin.<\/p>\n

\u0130nsaf \u00e7\u0131tan\u0131z\u0131 y\u00fckseltin<\/strong>. Kendi isteklerinizin olmas\u0131n\u0131 e\u015finize dayatmay\u0131n. \u201cBen bunu b\u00f6yle seviyorum, sen de seveceksin. Bunun b\u00f6yle olmas\u0131n\u0131 istiyorum, sen de kabul edeceksin. Buraya gidece\u011fim, sen de geleceksin vb.\u201d demeyin. Sadece kendi mutlulu\u011funuzu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcp kar\u015f\u0131 tarafa hayat hakk\u0131 tan\u0131mayarak \u201cne yapay\u0131m, o da benim yan\u0131mda olsun; olmuyorsa cezas\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7eker\u201d d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesiyle vicdan\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 susturmay\u0131n. Her insafs\u0131z davran\u0131\u015f\u0131n bir kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 oldu\u011funu, \u0130lahi adalette de yer bulaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 akl\u0131n\u0131zdan \u00e7\u0131karmay\u0131n.<\/p>\n

E\u015finizi su\u00e7lamay\u0131n.<\/strong> \u201cYine ne yapt\u0131n? Bir \u015feyi de do\u011fru yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rmedim. Senin y\u00fcz\u00fcnden ba\u015f\u0131m dertten kurtulmuyor.\u201d demek yerine \u201cBir s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131n m\u0131 var? Problemini \u00e7\u00f6zelim. Senin problemin benim problemim say\u0131l\u0131r.\u201d deyin.
\nBilhassa aileniz i\u00e7in e\u015finizin g\u00f6n\u00fcl aynas\u0131n\u0131 k\u0131rmay\u0131n. \u201cO da benim anneme-babama veya ablama-a\u011fabeyime iyi davranm\u0131yor.\u201d demeyin. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc b\u00f6yle davran\u0131\u015f, e\u015finizin hem size hem de akrabalar\u0131n\u0131za kar\u015f\u0131 kin tutmas\u0131na sebep olur. Aralar\u0131na kin tohumu serpmek yerine sevgi k\u00f6pr\u00fcleri kurun. Bunun i\u00e7in de e\u015finizi herkesten \u00e7ok sevdi\u011finizi ona hissettirin.<\/p>\n

Mazi kitab\u0131n\u0131 kapat\u0131n<\/strong>. Ge\u00e7mi\u015fe ait k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fckleri boh\u00e7a gibi a\u00e7\u0131p durmay\u0131n. Onlar\u0131 derleyip toplay\u0131p \u00e7\u00f6p kutusuna at\u0131n. Nas\u0131l olsa o s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131n elemi gitmi\u015f, lezzeti kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r.
\n\u00c7\u00f6pten \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z kirli \u015feyler nas\u0131l evinizin havas\u0131n\u0131 kirletirse ge\u00e7mi\u015fe ait k\u00f6t\u00fc hat\u0131ralar da mutlulu\u011funuzun havas\u0131n\u0131 bozar.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sorunlar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n Daha Sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 \u00c7\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc Ad\u0131na Profesyonel Dan\u0131\u015fmanl\u0131k Hizmeti<\/p>\n

(Y\u00fcz-y\u00fcze veya Online Randevu) Alabilirsiniz.<\/p>\n

\"psikolojik-danisma-ogrenci-danismanligi-randevual1-gaziantep\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Evlilikler canl\u0131 bir organizma gibidir. Beslenmek, bak\u0131lmak ister. E\u015finize bask\u0131 yapmadan, evde h\u00fck\u00fcmranl\u0131k kurmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmadan ortak yollar bulunabilir. Evlilik ona...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2490,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[27,47,156],"class_list":["post-2489","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aile-danismanligi","tag-aile-danismanligi","tag-evlilik-danismanligi","tag-sehitkamil-evlilik-terapisi"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2489","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2489"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2489\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2489"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2489"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2489"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}