{"id":3899,"date":"2016-10-22T02:30:57","date_gmt":"2016-10-21T23:30:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.okanbal.com\/?p=3899"},"modified":"2016-10-22T02:30:57","modified_gmt":"2016-10-21T23:30:57","slug":"evliliginizde-tehlike-altinda-mi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/3899\/evliliginizde-tehlike-altinda-mi\/","title":{"rendered":"Evlili\u011finiz Tehlike Alt\u0131nda m\u0131?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>EVL\u0130L\u0130K D\u00d6N\u00dc\u015e\u00dcMSEL B\u0130R \u0130L\u0130\u015eK\u0130<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Duygusal boyutta ayr\u0131\u015fan \u00e7ift, zihinsel boyutta da ayr\u0131\u015fmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r.<\/p>\n<p>Ve \u00e7o\u011funlukla: \u201cpayla\u015facak bir \u015feyimiz kalmad\u0131\u201d, \u201ceskisi gibi heyecan hissetmiyorum, her \u015fey \u00e7ok rutin\u201d gibi s\u00f6ylemlere \u00e7ok rastlan\u0131r.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cE\u015finiz size, sizi yans\u0131tan bir ayna vazifesi g\u00f6rmektedir. E\u015flerin \u00f6zlemleri ayn\u0131d\u0131r ancak beklentileri farkl\u0131d\u0131r. Ancak sevgiyi ifade etme bi\u00e7imindeki farkl\u0131l\u0131klar beklentileri ortaya \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131r. Kimi insan sevildi\u011fini duymak ister, kimisi dokunarak sevildi\u011fini hisseder, kimisi s\u00fcrekli kendisine somut d\u00fczlemde bir \u015feyler verildi\u011finde sevildi\u011fini hisseder vb. Evlilik ili\u015fkisi de beklentilerin farkl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan do\u011fan bir ruhsal beslenme s\u00fcrecidir.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>EVL\u0130L\u0130K S\u00dcREC\u0130NDEK\u0130 MUTLULU\u011eUN SON BULMASI \u0130LE RUHSAL BO\u015eANMA GER\u00c7EKLE\u015e\u0130R<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Mutluluk; \u00f6zg\u00fcven dir. \u201c\u00f6z\u201de g\u00fcvenmek; evlilikte ortak payda da partnere \u201cistek\u201d ve \u201cihitya\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131\u201d g\u00fcvenle a\u00e7abilmektir. \u201cOlmas\u0131 gerekenleri\u201d dayatmak ve inatla \u201c-meli, -mal\u0131\u201d zemininden konu\u015fmak yerine; ayr\u0131\u015fma ve bulu\u015fmaman\u0131n sentezinde olan\u0131 oldu\u011fu gibi kabul edebilmek rol beklentilerine girmeden duyguda\u015fl\u0131k yapabilmek evlilik s\u00fcrecindeki \u201cmutluluktur\u201d. Evlilik s\u00fcrecindeki mutlulu\u011fun son bulmas\u0131 ile ruhsal bo\u015fanma ger\u00e7ekle\u015fir. Ruhsal ve duygusal olarak bo\u015fanman\u0131n ger\u00e7ekl\u015feti\u011fi bir evlilik zemininde zaten d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnsel ve fiziksel bo\u015fanma somut formda h\u0131zla olu\u015facakt\u0131r.<\/p>\n<p><strong>EVL\u0130L\u0130\u011e\u0130 B\u0130T\u0130RMEK TEK TARAFIN KARARI \u0130LE M\u00dcMK\u00dcN M\u00dc?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u201cKad\u0131n\u0131n \u201ckar\u0131\u201d, erke\u011fin de \u201ckoca\u201d olarak adland\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve kar\u0131-kocal\u0131k makam\u0131ndaki zeminde kurulan ili\u015fkinin ad\u0131 \u201cevlilik\u201dtir.<\/p>\n<p>Bu ba\u011flamda evlilik; kad\u0131n ve erke\u011fin duygusal-fiziksel-d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnselve ruhsal zeminde ortak payda da bulu\u015fma halidir. Evlili\u011fi bitirmek tek taraf\u0131n karar\u0131 ile m\u00fcmk\u00fcnd\u00fcr ancak ortada evlili\u011fi bitirme gibi bir karar var ise evlilik s\u00fcrecinin yara ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yleyebiliriz.<\/p>\n<p><strong>BO\u015eANMA STAT\u0130K B\u0130R OLGU DE\u011e\u0130L B\u0130R S\u00dcRE\u00c7T\u0130R<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Bo\u015fanma statik bir olgu de\u011fil bir s\u00fcre\u00e7tir. Dinamik bir yap\u0131ya sahiptir ve i\u00e7erisinde pek \u00e7ok ki\u015fisel, sosyal, ekonomik ve hukuksal nicelikler bar\u0131nd\u0131rmaktad\u0131r. Bu ba\u011flamda bo\u015fanma s\u00fcrecinin psikososyal a\u00e7\u0131dan anlamland\u0131r\u0131lmas\u0131na yard\u0131mc\u0131 olunmas\u0131 \u00f6zellikle tek tarafl\u0131 bo\u015fanma durumlar\u0131nda daha i\u015flevsel olacakt\u0131r. Psikolojik olarak bo\u015fanma hem bir yas evresini hem de kriz evresini i\u00e7 i\u00e7e sergilemektedir. Bo\u015fanma karar\u0131 tek tarafl\u0131 al\u0131nm\u0131\u015f ise bo\u015fanmak istemeyen taraf kendisini \u00e7aresiz ve yaln\u0131z hissedecek belki de partnerinin geri d\u00f6nece\u011fine ili\u015fkin obsesyonlar (tak\u0131nt\u0131l\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceler) \u00fcretecektir.<\/p>\n<p><strong>DUYGUSAL VE F\u0130Z\u0130KSEL TANS\u0130YONUN Y\u00dcKSELMES\u0130NE ZEM\u0130N HAZIRLAR<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Evlili\u011fi bitirmekta kararl\u0131 olan taraf tutumunda kararl\u0131l\u0131k sergiledik\u00e7e, evlili\u011finin s\u00fcrd\u00fcrmek isteyen partner \u201c\u00f6fke, \u00e7aresizlik, uyku-i\u015ftah d\u00fczeninde dalgalanmalar deneyimleyerek duygusal ve fiziksel tansiyonun y\u00fckselmesine zemin haz\u0131rlayabilmektedir. Bu s\u00fcre\u00e7te en \u00f6nemli husus; evlili\u011fini s\u00fcrd\u00fcrmek isteyen ki\u015fiye \u201calan\u201d ve \u201czaman\u201d tan\u0131nmas\u0131d\u0131r. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc evlili\u011fini s\u00fcrd\u00fcrmek isteyen ki\u015fi; \u201ckontrols\u00fcz bir gebelik\u201d s\u00fcrecini deneyimlemektedir.<\/p>\n<p>Bebek d\u00fcnayaya \u201cmerhaba\u201d demek \u00fczereyken, anne \u201ckorku\u201d duygusunu deneyimliyorsa, ne yapmal\u0131? Anneye kendi kendisini teskin edebilmesi ve do\u011fumu ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftirebilmesi i\u00e7in vakit ve g\u00fcvenli zemin tan\u0131nmal\u0131d\u0131r. Bir s\u00fcre sonra evlili\u011fi s\u00fcrd\u00fcrmekte niyetli olan ki\u015fi; evlilik mekanizmas\u0131n\u0131n i\u015flevsel olmayan y\u00f6nlerinin fark\u0131na varacak ve kriz ile ba\u015fa \u00e7\u0131kma mekanizmalar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00fc\u00e7lendirerek asl\u0131nda kendi arzu ve ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131n tatmini y\u00f6n\u00fcnde eylemde bulundu\u011funu, ili\u015fkinin yara ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ve ili\u015fkisel s\u00fcre\u00e7teki iyile\u015fmenin ancak partnerlerin ayr\u0131\u015fmas\u0131 sonucunda ger\u00e7ekle\u015febilece\u011fini g\u00f6recek ve duyumsayacakt\u0131r.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Okan Bal<br \/>\nUzman Psikolojik Dan\u0131\u015fman ve Aile Terapisti<\/p>\n<p>Sorunlar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n Daha Sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 \u00c7\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc \u0130\u00e7in<br \/>\n\u201cOnline Terapi\u201d Randevusu Alabilirsiniz.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.okanbal.com\/randevu-al\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-3385\" src=\"http:\/\/i1.wp.com\/www.okanbal.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/psikolojik-danisma-ogrenci-danismanligi-randevual1-gaziantep.png?resize=298%2C95\" alt=\"onlineterapim-randevual\" width=\"298\" height=\"95\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>EVL\u0130L\u0130K D\u00d6N\u00dc\u015e\u00dcMSEL B\u0130R \u0130L\u0130\u015eK\u0130 Duygusal boyutta ayr\u0131\u015fan \u00e7ift, zihinsel boyutta da ayr\u0131\u015fmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Ve \u00e7o\u011funlukla: \u201cpayla\u015facak bir \u015feyimiz kalmad\u0131\u201d, \u201ceskisi&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2696,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,145],"tags":[27,411,52,390,182,8],"class_list":["post-3899","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aile-danismanligi","category-psikoloji","tag-aile-danismanligi","tag-evliliginizde-tehlike-altinda-mi","tag-evlilik-terapisi","tag-evlilik-terapisti","tag-online-terapi","tag-sehitkamil-aile-danismanim"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3899","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3899"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3899\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3899"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3899"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3899"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}