{"id":4142,"date":"2016-11-19T01:13:44","date_gmt":"2016-11-18T23:13:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.okanbal.com\/?p=4142"},"modified":"2016-11-19T01:13:44","modified_gmt":"2016-11-18T23:13:44","slug":"ilk-cocukla-beraber-neler-degisir","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/4142\/ilk-cocukla-beraber-neler-degisir\/","title":{"rendered":"\u0130lk \u00e7ocukla beraber neler de\u011fi\u015fir"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u0130lk \u00e7ocu\u011fun do\u011fumu b\u00fcy\u00fck bir \u00f6zlemle beklense de, ailenin geni\u015flemesinin getirdi\u011fi bask\u0131 nedeniyle \u00e7iftler aras\u0131nda sorunlara yol a\u00e7abilir. \u201c<\/strong>Kar\u0131 koca olmaktan anne baba<\/strong>\u201d olmaya giden s\u00fcre\u00e7te ve anne-baba olduktan sonra ya\u015fanan zorluklara \u00e7iftler beraberce kar\u015f\u0131 koyabilirler.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnne-babalar, a\u015fklar\u0131n\u0131n meyvesini\u201d <\/strong>kucaklar\u0131na almak i\u00e7in sab\u0131rs\u0131zlan\u0131rlar. \u00c7iftler, \u00e7ocukla beraber bir aile h\u00e2line geleceklerini ve birbirlerine daha s\u0131k\u0131 ba\u011flarla ba\u011flanacaklar\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrler.<\/p>\n

Anne-baba olmu\u015f \u00e7iftlerse, bu beklentiyle ger\u00e7ek aras\u0131nda b\u00fcy\u00fck bir u\u00e7urum bulundu\u011funu bilmektedirler.<\/p>\n

\u00c7ocuk sahibi olman\u0131n, \u00e7iftleri birbirine daha s\u0131k\u0131 ba\u011flamad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, T\u00fcrkiye \u0130statistik Kurumu taraf\u0131ndan tutulan istatistiklerde de g\u00f6rmek m\u00fcmk\u00fcnd\u00fcr. T\u00fcrkiye\u2019de kad\u0131nlar\u0131n ortalama evlenme ya\u015f\u0131 23, ilk \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131 do\u011furduklar\u0131 ortalama ya\u015f ise 27\u2019dir. T\u00fcrkiye\u2019deki bo\u015fanmalar\u0131n %40\u2019\u0131 da ilk be\u015f y\u0131l i\u00e7erisinde ger\u00e7ekle\u015fmektedir.<\/p>\n

Do\u011fumdan sonraki ilk aylar, yeni anne-baba olan \u00e7iftler i\u00e7in olduk\u00e7a y\u0131prat\u0131c\u0131d\u0131r. Anne veya baba rol\u00fcn\u00fc kabullenmek, genelde ancak \u00e7iftin birbirine daha az ilgi g\u00f6stermesiyle m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olabilir. Bu nedenle, do\u011fumundan sonraki aylarda, bebek, anne ve babas\u0131 aras\u0131nda azalan bir yak\u0131nl\u0131k hissi ile b\u00fcy\u00fcr. \u00c7ocu\u011fun bak\u0131m\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6nem kazand\u0131\u011f\u0131 bu d\u00f6nemde, kar\u0131-koca aras\u0131ndaki kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 anlay\u0131\u015f ve sevecenlik azal\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Aile i\u00e7i rol da\u011f\u0131l\u0131m\u0131 de\u011fi\u015fiyor<\/h4>\n

\u0130lk \u00e7ocu\u011fun do\u011fumundan \u00f6nce \u00e7iftler aras\u0131nda, genelde daha e\u015fit olarak da\u011f\u0131lan g\u00f6rev ve sorumluluklar, \u00e7ocu\u011fun do\u011fumuyla beraber yeniden belirlenmekte ve dramatik bi\u00e7imde geleneksel rol da\u011f\u0131l\u0131m\u0131na uygun bir h\u00e2l almaktad\u0131r. Do\u011fumla beraber, \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan kad\u0131nlar i\u015f hayat\u0131ndan k\u0131smen ya da tamamen \u00e7ekilirler. Do\u011fumdan \u00f6nce 8, do\u011fumdan sonra 8 hafta \u00fccretli do\u011fum iznine sahip kad\u0131nlar\u0131n aksine erkekler bu izinden yararlanamamaktad\u0131r. Bu durum, aile i\u00e7i geleneksel rol da\u011f\u0131l\u0131m\u0131n\u0131 peki\u015ftiren ba\u015fka bir fakt\u00f6rd\u00fcr.<\/p>\n

Yap\u0131lan ara\u015ft\u0131rmalar, do\u011fumdan sonra ev i\u015flerinin kad\u0131nlar taraf\u0131ndan daha fazla yap\u0131lmaya ba\u015fland\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6stermektedir. Bir\u00e7ok baba, \u00e7ocukla ve evle ilgilenmek istediklerini s\u00f6yleseler de, temelde bu g\u00f6revleri anneler daha fazla y\u00fcklenmeye ba\u015flamaktad\u0131r.<\/p>\n

De\u011fi\u015fen bu g\u00f6rev ve rol da\u011f\u0131l\u0131m\u0131, \u00e7iftler aras\u0131nda tart\u0131\u015fma yaratma potansiyeli ta\u015f\u0131yan bir durum ortaya \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131r. Do\u011fumdan \u00f6nce i\u015f hayat\u0131nda aktif olan \u00e7ok say\u0131da kad\u0131n, do\u011fumdan sonra \u00e7iftler aras\u0131nda konu\u015fulmasa da ev kad\u0131n\u0131 rol\u00fcn\u00fc benimsemek zorunda kal\u0131r ve bu durum mutsuzlu\u011fa ve yeni anne olmu\u015f kad\u0131n\u0131n, e\u015fi taraf\u0131ndan haks\u0131zl\u0131\u011fa u\u011frad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmesine neden olur.<\/p>\n

E\u015flerin ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131 de\u011fi\u015fim g\u00f6sterir<\/h4>\n

Yeni anne olmu\u015f ve i\u015f hayat\u0131ndan \u00e7ekilerek evde \u00e7ocukla ilgilenen kad\u0131n\u0131n sosyal d\u00fcnyaya a\u00e7\u0131lan tek penceresi ak\u015fam i\u015ften gelen kocas\u0131d\u0131r. Bu nedenle ak\u015fam eve gelen erkek, sadece \u00e7ocu\u011fun bak\u0131m\u0131yla ilgilenmemeli e\u015fine de eskiye oranla daha fazla ilgi g\u00f6stermelidir.<\/p>\n

E\u015finin i\u015f hayat\u0131ndan ayr\u0131lmas\u0131yla evin ge\u00e7imini sa\u011flayan tek ki\u015fi h\u00e2line gelen yeni baba olmu\u015f erkek, i\u015fini kaybetmemek i\u00e7in daha fazla \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmaya ba\u015flar. Ak\u015fam i\u015ften eve gelip, ayaklar\u0131n\u0131 uzat\u0131p dinlenmek istedi\u011finde e\u015finin ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131na ilgi g\u00f6stermesi her zaman m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olmayabilir. Bu durum, b\u00fcy\u00fck beklentilerle kocas\u0131n\u0131 bekleyen kad\u0131n i\u00e7in bir \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fc kayna\u011f\u0131d\u0131r ve \u00e7iftler aras\u0131nda kavgaya neden olabilir. \u00c7iftler de\u011fi\u015fen durum hakk\u0131nda birbirleriyle konu\u015fmaz, ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 ve beklentilerini payla\u015fmazlarsa ili\u015fkilerinde sorunlar ortaya \u00e7\u0131kacakt\u0131r. Bu evrede, hem erkek hem de kad\u0131n daha fazla anlay\u0131\u015f ve duygusal destek beklemektedir. Genelde beklentiler a\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a s\u00f6ylenemez ve kar\u015f\u0131 taraf\u0131n kendili\u011finden bu beklentileri anlamas\u0131 beklenir.<\/p>\n

Do\u011fumla beraber \u00e7iftlerin ili\u015fkisinin zarar g\u00f6rmemesi i\u00e7in, \u00e7ocuk olmadan zaman ge\u00e7irebilecekleri etkinliklere kat\u0131lmalar\u0131 yararl\u0131 olacakt\u0131r. Bu s\u00fcre zarf\u0131nda bebek, \u00e7ocu\u011fun bak\u0131m\u0131n\u0131 \u00fcstlenebilecek bir arkada\u015fa ya da \u00e7iftin anne babalar\u0131na b\u0131rak\u0131labilir.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Okan Bal
\nUzman Psikolojik Dan\u0131\u015fman ve Aile Terapisti<\/p>\n

Sorunlar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n Daha Sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 \u00c7\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc \u0130\u00e7in
\n\u201cOnline Terapi\u201d Randevusu Alabilirsiniz.<\/p>\n

\"onlineterapim-randevual\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u0130lk \u00e7ocu\u011fun do\u011fumu b\u00fcy\u00fck bir \u00f6zlemle beklense de, ailenin geni\u015flemesinin getirdi\u011fi bask\u0131 nedeniyle \u00e7iftler aras\u0131nda sorunlara yol a\u00e7abilir. \u201cKar\u0131 koca olmaktan...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4143,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,145],"tags":[475,139,215,210,421],"class_list":["post-4142","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aile-danismanligi","category-psikoloji","tag-ilk-cocukla-beraber-neler-degisir","tag-kizilay-pedagog","tag-online-pedagog","tag-online-psikolog","tag-pedagog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4142","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4142"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4142\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4142"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4142"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ailedanismaniokanbal.com.tr\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4142"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}